***************************SPOILER ALERT*********************************
We met online. And we really liked each other pretty much instantaneously.
I was at my family reunion in Florida. And while hanging out with all the happy couples during the day was kinda exhausting. So I spent my evenings perusing the singles back in Denver on OkCupid. (This suddenly strikes me as awkward to put in here, but I’ll push on.) One night, I found Astrophelatlast (Ry: In my defense, it is hard to pick a creative name on a big site like OkCupid. I regret this name because of the fact that Astrophel never managed to woo the love of his life. So, poor name choice on my part.). He had a picture of himself in his mother’s backyard in his stream of images. And I remember his eyes, and his smile. This was not his profile picture. I admit that I paid little attention to that; I was more curious about what he said about himself and what pictures he chose to upload, but not highlight. Apparently, there was a monkey in the profile picture; I never saw it until it was pointed out to me.
So I read his profile. He’d recently moved to Denver. And was looking for friends. And even if I (as the reader) wasn’t interested in him romantically, he thought he was still the type of guy who made good friends.
Imagining flipping back to the picture in his mother’s backyard. Blue eyes, great smile, red beard, and a green fleece (which I’ve never seen, Ryan (Ry: She actually has seen this sweater [not fleece] a number of times.)). Then reading the profile. The picture, the profile. And then I looked at our percentage match: 99.9%.
I sent a message. Asking if he wanted to join my trivia team (Ry: “join her trivia team”). Remember he was looking for friends. And my trivia team had an opening.
What started was a slew of emails that were the highlight of my days. We talked about books, the art of arguing with doctors, family, travel, and how I was going to get home from the airport–my personal highlight was Ryan talking about his fancy license and car, and how he was a man (Ry: I remember the license and car thing, not the man thing. I am a man, however.).
Two days after I flew in, we met at the Park Tavern for Geeks Who Drink pub trivia. Everyone else on my team was sick (Ry: “sick”), so we were left alone. Ryan believes I engineered this (Ry: I only believe it because it is true.), but I remember sending desperate texts (Ry: Texts like, “OMG, he is like so cute!”) to one team member telling him that Ryan was going to disbelieve that I had a team if no one showed up.
We lost. Terribly (Ry: I blame her eyes. It’s hard to focus on trivia when she’s looking at me.). But it was a memorable start to the next two years of our lives. After trivia, we walked to my place and then to the Irish Snug for a round that lasted three hours of talk, laughter, and instant connection. Ryan was fixated on this game called Dixit, which is a funny thing to say to a girl you’ve just met (Ry: Apparently asking if she wanted to see Dixit was weird or something. It is a fun game, though.).
After an awkward handshake, I realized I wanted to hug this guy. So I did (Ry: It was nice.).
And now I’m going to pass the reins over to Ryan so he can tell the next step to the first kiss.
I lied… Ryan thinks I should continue on telling this epic story (Ry: I’d rather be lazy and edit what she says.). So… Continuing on:
The week after we met, I moved out of my apartment. Ryan came over one night to help me rearrange furniture, so I could roll up an area rug. And the day I moved out, he came over (after helping his sister move the same day) and scrubbed my bathtub, oven, and floor. When I opened the door on that night, I didn’t say hello; I asked him for a flaw. He was not to cross my threshold (praha in Czech) without telling me something bad about himself (Ry: See? I wasn’t just some guy she wanted on her trivia team. I never bought that.). What he shared wasn’t as simple as being a control freak or unable to eat sandwich cookies in odd numbers. He told what has become one of my favorite stories of his (Ry: Okay, I tell the story a bit differently and it sounds much less heartless. I don’t have room in this parenthetical aside to do it justice, however. Don’t think too poorly of me after you read what follows.) :
Sitting in a rural train station in Japan, he and his girlfriend were waiting for the next train. The trains ran every ninety minutes. As the 90 minutes were coming to an end, the girlfriend explained that she had bought gifts for his family. This was odd because his family wouldn’t be visiting for some time. “They are for when we go to the United States,” she said.
Here is where my cinematographer mind starts playing with it: At this moment, the headlight on the train comes into view. The couple is quiet on the platform. The girlfriend waiting for a response; the boy trying to find the right words to say that convey his mind. The train rushes toward the station. If the boy misses it, he will be stuck with this now ex-girlfriend for ninety minutes. The train slows. Announcements are made in Japanese. The boy rises from the bench, freeing his hand slowly from the girl’s; there maybe tears in her eyes. He is trying not to look. Stepping to the doors, he turns to her and says, “There is no happily ever after for us.” The doors close. The train departs. The couple is separated.
Hell of a story! And while Ryan felt like the biggest ass and coolest guy in the timezone at that moment, this is the story he chose to share with me when I asked for a flaw (Ry: I probably shouldn’t have shared that story so early.).
Our first kiss came a little later. And to spoil it for everyone and for my further entertainment, I kissed him (Ry: “join her trivia team”). We were standing in the open door to my new apartment; I remember standing near the kitchen in the dark. Ryan mumbled something about really wanting to kiss me, so I crossed that bridge for both of us. Then sent Ryan home.
We joke that Dan Savage would not approve of our relationship timeline. Less than two years from “first date” to proposal; we’ll actually be getting married before our three year anniversary. I can create Dan’s disapproving rant in my head. Pretty accurately.
However, as correct as Dan is about many things, there need to be outliers to his opinions. And as cliche as it sounds, I knew I was in trouble when Ryan walked out of the bathroom at The Park the first night we met (Ry: Ah-ha!). When he smiled, I knew he was the one (Ry: That was the very reason I smiled at her like that).